My Week

Sunday – My friend Dave called and asked me if I wanted to join him for a ride in the mountains. It was a gorgeous day. You should really see the colors of fall in the mountains. Absolutely fabulous! It was also good to hear about a ministry opportunity that Dave is thinking about giving more time to, working with the Ludy’s who wrote When God Writes Your Love Story and When God Writes Your Life Story. Went to my 20’s/30’s church group at night.

Monday – School. Meeting after school. And my only real night to grade papers all week. I also watched the movie “The Prince and Me” which was one of the last movies I saw with my girlfriends at Dordt. I borrowed it from one of the middle-schoolers. Funny, the last time I saw it I remember loving it. This time, I was completely annoyed. Hollywood, once again, presented an unreal picture of romance. Still a cute movie though, with some real down-home Midwest in it. (I just don’t see how a Wisconsin farmer’s daughter would ever end up marrying a king from Denmark! I mean, really, you aren’t going to see this Iowa farmer’s daughter marry Prince William, are you? I don’t think so.)

Tuesday – Meetings before school. School. Then class for two and a half hours after school. Once a month I am taking a class on teaching strategies in reading and writing with four other teachers from my school. It is great for helping me bring new ideas into the classroom. I also enjoyed talking to one of the 5th grade teachers and hearing just how difficult her class is this year (so nice to know that my problems last year weren’t due to my own nature, but the kids!). Went home, graded more papers until Kristi VW called. You know you are busy when you can go two months without talking to one of your best friends and don’t even realize it!

Wednesday – School. Worked until 4:40 and went home early. Took a nap. Washed the dishes, talked to my mom on the phone for five minutes and headed to Young Life. We are working on putting together a fundraiser banquet for next Monday night. I got to do some voice work. Not a lot of kids showed up this week because of homecoming, but it was still fun. I am in my element when I am singing/listening to music, talking about God, and hanging out with people. The leader and I still need to meet. I’m not yet “official,” so I’m still in prayer about the opportunity. Went home, picked up my apartment, graded papers for an hour before going to bed.

Thursday – Woke up at 5:40 for some “God time” because I’ve neglected my quiet times this week. School. This afternoon I am treating myself to Panera and will hopefully get my lesson plans together for next week. (I’m also 11 days behind in reading the Purpose Driven Life, but I did just finish reading it this summer. It is a good book, but I definitely have my frustrations with it.) Small Group tonight. My friend, Mike, called to invite me to a late movie and out to eat with a bunch of people…but I might just have to say “no” to that one. Staying out until 1:00 on a weeknight might not be a good idea this week!

Friday – Meeting before school. Meeting after school. School. And then I’m going home to crash. I don’t care if it is Friday night, I need a long walk and my couch! :)

Saturday – Making invitations for my mom’s surprise 50th birthday party. Party planning long-distance with my sister-in-law. At night DC is having a “community building night.” They are showing “Cheaper by the Dozen” on the lawn outside of school so I should probably make an appearance. Good things are happening with the community of DC this year. I am so excited!

I Am a Flourishing Stump

Yesterday was a pretty cool day. It seems like God is so near lately. I am being blessed in such incredible ways. He is so good!

I went to church at Eastern Hills yesterday morning. Pastor Shawn is doing a series on connecting with Jesus. Yesterday's message was from John 15, "The Vine and the Branches." This passage talks about God being the "Father-Gardener" and God's people as being the "Branches." I have been reminded that God knows just what each of us needs. He also knows exactly the ways that we need to be pruned and refined. He cuts off the branches in us that bear no fruit, and prunes the branches that are fruitful so they can produce even more fruit (vs. 2).

I feel like a stump. This past year has been a season of pruning for me. I've learned so much. I've been brought through many of the toughest trials of my life. I've faced things I never thought I'd have to face, watched others go through pain and hurt, and felt quite helpless in the process. But through it all, I've been so joyful. I've had the stupidest grin on my face and I never really quite understood why. Now I know that it was because God is producing fruit within me. Everything I go through happens for a greater purpose, greater than even I can understand. I may never come to realize why everything happened the way it did. But I can be thankful because the Heavenly Father delights in me enough to give me the care that only the Father-Gardener can give.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Checked Out

I am sitting by my desk at my computer. Friday afternoon. After school. I should be working at a furious pace to get out of here. Yet, that is the one thing I am currently finding it impossible to do.

I have just had what feels like the most unproductive week. I'm still in my "turbo-reflection" mode. My most recent thought?

Not a one.

My brain has checked out.

No where to be found.

Someone...please return it to me!

Just to Be

I have so many thoughts floating around my head lately, and I always feel like I need to get them down somewhere.

This weekend I pet/housesat for my teaching partner Jon so he could spend a weekend in the mountains with his wife. I did enjoy having a dog for a few days, and everything went well apart from cleaning up her poop and puke! It was nice to be in a house and have some time to play "catch-up" on school things. I'm also glad to say that I was able to break away for a long lunch with Jen on Saturday. She is the only other "young" person left on staff from last year, and is someone I can be completely honest with about my joys and struggles toward the school part of my life, as well as what I feel are my callings are elsewhere.

This weekend was a weekend of focus for me.

Sometimes it can be so impossible to be focused...

I read a good chunk of the book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend yesterday. When I first saw it sitting above the fireplace at Jon's house, I just had to laugh. It was one of those "Ok, God..." moments because a friend of mine has been telling me to read it. I just have never found the time to. The book made me think about how I am a product of the family I grew up in (we all are!). It helped me to realize why I feel the way I do about many of the relationships I have in my life, why I still feel certain obligations that I really don't need to feel, and how I have a hard time saying "no".

I always feel like I should be doing more. Although I think it is healthy for me to add things into my schedule to create balance, I can't be all things to everyone. I am human! I think teachers feel this pressure in a similar way to those working in ministry. It's a thought that I know I'm going to come back to in future blogs.

I'm also reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren right now. My small group is reading it and although I wasn't real enthused about it at first (I've read it a couple of times before), I think it might help me wake up to the areas where I am not fulfilling God's purposes in my life.

I'm learning to live in the moment instead of in the past or in the future. Why can it be so hard to live in the present? I don't want to spend my days fretting about missed opportunities, or dreaming ahead too much about what I'd like to be doing a few years from now. Life isn't about the past or the future. I can't change the past and my future has yet to be written. Whether exciting or montonous, Life is now.

I drove down to Garden of the Gods last night rather spontaneously. It is one of my favorite places in Colorado. Yesterday was one of those times where I needed to be alone and retreat with God more than I needed to be with the body. It was so awesome to sit in His presence and just exist together. My life is always so filled with "stuff" that sometimes I need a reminder to be still and just BE WITH GOD. I need to confess that I haven't been so good about that lately. I have been active in the ministries I am a part of here, and I've read my Bible before drifting off to sleep, but I need to spend more time daily just BEING with Him!

A Different Flavor

Time for my weekly update. So much seems to be happening so quickly here. I am now drowning in a pile of grading. (You really gotta love looking at one and a half feet of paper that needs to be graded by next Friday!)

Tonight I am meeting with my small group from my evening church. It is a group of eight girls that gets together once a week to talk, hold each other accountable, pray and study the Bible. I am very excited about this opportunity that God has placed in my life. One day I was thinking, "I should really join a Bible study," and the next day a couple of my friends asked me if I would be their eighth person after someone dropped out (they keep the groups to eight people). So, wha-lah. I think it will be really good for me.

I have met some amazing people here in Colorado, yet no one like my college friends. Sometimes I still miss that time in life so much. It isn't that I don't appreciate the friendships I have in my life now. They just have a different flavor. I can't just sit in class and be fed by my ym or education buddies. I also can't walk up the stairs or across campus when I'm bored. But maybe that is a good thing considering the fact that I don't have time to be bored! I've already committed two nights a week to church. And I've been looking into getting involved with Young Life. I went there last night to hang out, and next week the director and I are going to get together to discuss the opportunities that are available to me there. I told myself that this year I would get more involved in my community by doing youth ministry. I never knew that it would be so hard to fit something I care so much about into my life. I hope it all works out.

Although second-year teaching is graciously better than first-year teaching, it is still hard to be a teacher and be committed to anything. I don't know if I can handle this lifestyle forever. I believe that teachers are amazing people. I'm not talking about the people like me that decide they'll try out teaching for a few years and see what happens. I'm talking about the people who dedicate their lives to teaching, knowing that things will always be an extreme form of crazy/busy. Even after you have mastered the curriculum, there is still so much to do and so many ways that your students can be reached. It can sometimes be hard to teach in a CSI school in Colorado because there are only two schools in the state. I don't have the support I would have if I were teaching in Michigan or Iowa or even California.

I've been thinking about what that really means lately...CSI education. Strongly rooted in reformed theology, we believe that children are best educated through the triangle of the church-home-school (wow! that sounds like something I'd write on an essay in college for bonus points!) . I read an article earlier today that said the school part of that triangle is getting larger, the church smaller, and the home even smaller. Syd (as quoted to me at one of my school's inservices...a cool moment in my life) says that this triangle is broadened by throwing media into the mix. There is no doubt that our culture is constantly changing. I am now expected to not only be an educator, but spiritual guide and mom as well. No wonder I feel guilty every time I take that pertinant time for myself! One thing I've learned is that if I don't, I become a raisin, dried up on the couch. For example, last May when I (not jokingly) did not have an ounce of energy in my to leave the couch from 4-10pm. Blame it on decision making, job cuts, and my oh-so-difficult class. I don't want to have another month like that! I love being active. I have returned to the busy lifestyle I had in college; but it is so much harder now. I miss life when I had flexibility and random free hours throughout the day.

Well, enough for now...I need to pack up my school things so I can go to Jon's and get my house/pet sitting instructions for the weekend!

Adios, mi amigos.

NO MATTER WHAT THE COST

“The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.” Napoleon Bonaparte


I love this quote. It is a little something I read on my flip-calendar a few weeks ago and today it is making me think of a conversation I had Friday night.

I was walking back from the mailboxes at my apartment complex after mailing some letters when I noticed a car pull up carrying two guys in business attire…not the norm for 7:30 on a Friday night. One of them walked up to me and asked me where I was at with the Lord. I told him I was a Christian. So we started talking about how we wished the church would be a united place and how divisions in the church make it difficult for non-Christians to see the truth. Then the men told me that they were from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That was when the conversation got really interesting.

It is amazing to me that some people can read the same Bible and get two completely different messages. I believe that the Bible is THE word of God inspired wholly by him. I also believe that it is the ONLY gospel truth. Nothing will ever shake that belief from me, which is why I think I ended up frustrating the guys I was talking to. BUT, here’s my question of the day---“How do you convert someone who is trying to convert you?” The one thing we agreed on is that the church should not be divided. We need unity. And the whole time we were discussing I was asking questions, probing, listening, and best of all…learning. Knowing about other religions brings understanding. The more I probed, the more I learned and the more messed up I saw the opposing “truth” that was presented to me as being. But I do give them credit for taking the time to talk to complete strangers about their faith, even if what I gained from the experience was not what they had hoped for. I have been reminded that you can never know your Bible too well. I may have been able to quote Bible verses and argue my side with passion; but real faith requires one to be a serious student of the Bible, no matter what the cost. There should be a cost in following Christ. If there is no cost, do we even know what we stand for?

Opposition is one thing most people flee from. Others take it head-on with little fear. I tend to sway on both sides of the persuasion. Some arguments are simply not worth picking. But often it is the people that I don’t agree with, that have taught me a lot about what it is that I actually believe. Some arguments are necessary!

I am left pondering…and encouraged to read my 2,000 page book on modern cults. Who says you can’t be a student of ministry without enrolling in a class? I just need a little accountability. Life happens too quickly. May that passion within me never die out. For that, to me, would be death itself.

Be challenged…keep fighting!